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Christmas Present Tips for Guys

Christmas Shopping Tips for Guys

giftgreen1Most of us guys are useless at Christmas shopping. Here's a few tips I've picked up over the years.

Ladies, you might want to share this with the men in your family to avoid getting an undesirable and badly wrapped present this Christmas.

  1. Buying your Christmas presents at a petrol station or dairy on Christmas morning really isn't the done thing - apparently not everyone wants a funnel, box of biscuits or a car care kit. Don't do it.
  2. Get started early, no not on Christmas Eve, yesterday was already too late.
  3. First thing in the morning is the best time to Christmas shop, and I mean first thing, teenagers are still in bed.
  4. It's not the thought that counts, it's how MUCH thought that counts.
  5. Cash is a GREAT present for teenagers - and me.
  6. If you must give gift vouchers make sure they are from a shop the recipient actually shops in and try and avoid those with an expiry date.
  7. Wrapping and cards are important, you and I know it's just paper but for some reason they are important.
  8. Before you start browsing in a shop check that it does gift wrapping and accept the service - wait if necessary. If the shop doesn't do gift wrapping move on to the next. Unless you are an expert present wrapper - Yeah Right!
  9. Even if every present you buy is gift wrapped, buy plenty of wrapping paper and sellotape. You are going to need it because dairy's and petrol stations don't gift wrap and being a bloke you'll probably ignore number 1.

Guys ignore the above at your peril and have a wonderful Christmas.

Top 50 Jokes of All Time - 11-20

Top 50 Jokes of All Time

20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she'd popped her clogs.

19. I rang up BT. I said: "I want to report a nuisance caller." He said: "Not you again."

18. "My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."

17. When Susan's boyfriend proposed, she said: "I love the simple things in life but I don't want one of them for my husband."

16. I went to buy camouflage trousers but I couldn't find any.

15. Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do you drive this thing?"

14. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said: "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

13. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought: "He's trying to pull a fast one."

12. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed. I never knew they worked.

11. Went to the doctors and said: "Have you got anything for wind?" He gave me a kite.

Jokes

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