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Christmas Present Tips for Guys

Christmas Shopping Tips for Guys

giftgreen1Most of us guys are useless at Christmas shopping. Here's a few tips I've picked up over the years.

Ladies, you might want to share this with the men in your family to avoid getting an undesirable and badly wrapped present this Christmas.

  1. Buying your Christmas presents at a petrol station or dairy on Christmas morning really isn't the done thing - apparently not everyone wants a funnel, box of biscuits or a car care kit. Don't do it.
  2. Get started early, no not on Christmas Eve, yesterday was already too late.
  3. First thing in the morning is the best time to Christmas shop, and I mean first thing, teenagers are still in bed.
  4. It's not the thought that counts, it's how MUCH thought that counts.
  5. Cash is a GREAT present for teenagers - and me.
  6. If you must give gift vouchers make sure they are from a shop the recipient actually shops in and try and avoid those with an expiry date.
  7. Wrapping and cards are important, you and I know it's just paper but for some reason they are important.
  8. Before you start browsing in a shop check that it does gift wrapping and accept the service - wait if necessary. If the shop doesn't do gift wrapping move on to the next. Unless you are an expert present wrapper - Yeah Right!
  9. Even if every present you buy is gift wrapped, buy plenty of wrapping paper and sellotape. You are going to need it because dairy's and petrol stations don't gift wrap and being a bloke you'll probably ignore number 1.

Guys ignore the above at your peril and have a wonderful Christmas.

Damn Health Food

fresh kale on a wooden tableA husband and wife died and went to Heaven together. They were met at the gates by an angel who was to show them the place.

“Right over here we have our very own golf course.”

“Wow! It’s beautiful! Can we play it now?” they both asked.

“Sure,” said the angel.

So the couple began playing. It was the most beautiful course they had ever seen. Everything was perfect… the fairways, the greens, even the rough. The more they played the more the woman beamed with happiness, but she noticed her husband was becoming disheartened and angry.

“I can’t understand why you’re not happy. We’re in Heaven! We’re together! We’re playing on the most beautiful and most perfect golf course ever! What’s wrong with you?” she asked.

“If you hadn’t fed us all that damn health food, we’d have been here years ago!”

Jokes

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